of beginnings and things redux

One of the things that I mentioned in my posts was that I did not quite remember the moment when I began to see things differently and started to accept the various promptings of those close to me to finally go back to school.  In a conversation last night, I was reminded about the exact moment my thinking began to change.  I’m not sure why I did not remember this the other day.  I was reminded that it was my oldest daughter that was the spark.

Last spring, she was finishing her eighth grade year.  She had decided that she wanted to be a doctor.  Not only that, but without any outside prompting that I can think of, she decided that she needed to switch schools to better accomplish her goal.  She was in a magnet school, one she could have stayed in, but walked to our local high school, on her own, and found that they had a ROTC program and medical science classes that she could take.  She decided that she needed to transfer schools to fit her goals.  ROTC was of interest to her, since she knows we can not afford to send he to medical school and hopes to join the military to further her educational ambitions.

When all of this was explained to me, I was so very proud of her determination and ability to make such a mature and well reasoned decision.  Possibly, the reason I let the other part of the moment slip my memory was because I also felt a certain amount of upset and remorse.  Here my daughter was, doing what I did not do when I was her age.  I am told that, despite how proud I was at that moment, and continue to be, I was rather introspective about it as well.  Having been reminded, I honestly felt a certain shame and remorse.  What a wonderful thing that she could be so determined and smart about choosing her path though.  So there you have it.  Though I suppose I did not care to think too much on that part of it, that would be what finally broke down that big barrier between myself and finally going to college.  While others also deserve credit for prodding me, that was the moment I could not put my finger on.
Thanks to my daughter, and my apologies for having to be reminded.  And, of course, I remain very proud of you!

Actually, if I have not mentioned it yet, my daughter and I have already enjoyed some unexpected bonding time while sharing some of my studies.  We may never look at cats quite the same way again.  We have even joked about ending up at the same university in the future.  Would that be a strange, but special thing?


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